Do You Find That There Are Often, Not Always, Differences Between The Way Husbands And Wives View And Handle Finances?
Some couples share finances from day one and live their lives responsibly, understanding that they’re doing everything they can to better their relationship. Then, when the kids come along, life changes completely. If they handle their finances responsibly and it doesn’t become a power struggle, then the likelihood is that their marriage will thrive and prosper. Money is the root of the majority of all divorces because of the power and control that money represents. If the couple has joint finances, there has to be a very high level of trust, just as there has to be a high level of confidence in the marriage.
So, when a couple gets married, and they’re not willing to share their finances, in my personal opinion, that’s leading to trouble because it’s showing that they don’t trust each other.
When children enter the equation, the focus of one spouse paying attention to the other shifts because the children now need attention. You currently have children you are responsible for, and you must take that seriously because the court system certainly will. The court system has a vested interest in making sure that children in New York are given the opportunity to grow into adults, which requires money.
You have to make sure that whatever you’re going to do with your money in the marriage is straight out and open. I highly encourage you to be completely transparent with your money, and have complete disclosure with each other and discuss the finances early and often expenses. Don’t let it lead to the frustration, anger, and difficulties that money often creates within a marriage. It’s just not worth it. It’s so easy to say that, and it’s so difficult not to get frustrated and angry with the control that money creates, but you’re living in a county where 80% or so of the populous simply cannot afford to live a comfortable life. It has always been very frightening to me. I’ve been watching this develop over the past 36 years of practicing law in Suffolk County, and it doesn’t seem to be ending. In fact, it is getting worse quickly. During the pandemic, the housing prices are increasing more so than I’ve seen at any time except right after 9/11, and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down.
Couples are coming out to Long Island from Manhattan, they’re selling their condos and co-ups for significant sums, and they’re bringing that money out here to buy a slice of suburban happiness. They want to work from home rather than going into a commercial office space that is no longer what it was.
Money has been, is, and will continue to be a prominent factor in creating disharmony in marriages and divorces. Most couples do not have enough to live the life that they thought they were going to live when they chose to move into Long Island.
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