If Parents Divorce or Separate, How Can They Safeguard Their Children’s Financial Future?
To safeguard the financial future of their children, parents need to make more money and spend less money. I would also recommend that anyone who is looking to create a trust for their children find a good trust and estate lawyer (my sister happens to be one).
In A Divorce Decree, Should There Be A Clause For Paying For the Child’s College Expenses Or Other Finances?
First, I will say that couples don’t need a decree, a divorce, a separation, a postnuptial agreement, or a prenuptial agreement; what they need is honest and good behavior. If parents behave well and are nice to each other, then they don’t need an agreement. When people enter prenuptial agreements, they set ground rules, take away rights, and add obligations.
If two people who are about to get married do not trust each other, then that’s a problem. If one or the other person enters the marriage with many assets (e.g. houses, cash), and if they want to leave what the wife or husband would be entitled to, then a prenuptial agreement would be a good idea, but not a fantastic one. The fantastic idea would be to not get married, because simply not getting married is stronger than any prenuptial agreement anyone can draft. New York State laws are very strong.
A shortfall of any marital dissolution is a postnuptial agreement, which is after marriage. If two people are married and things are broken down but they don’t want to get divorced or legally separated, yet they want to establish ground rules for college costs and other responsibilities, then a contract can be made.
These type of contracts are not ordered by a judge, therefor may or may not be enforceable. This is problematic in terms of enforcement. It’s one thing to contractually obligate each party in the marriage, it’s another to seek enforcement. There is a right to do something, and there’s an obligation to do something, and they’re the same thing, only on opposite sides. In a divorce separation or even postnuptial agreement, there is a right for each parent to see their children, and an obligation for the other party to allow that parent to see their children at the designated times. Without a written agreement, this obligation doesn’t exist.
If it’s not called a legal separation agreement or a divorce stipulation of settlement, then the enforceability of it cannot be ensured, because it will not have been reviewed or ordered by a court. When a judge signs an order of the Court that agreement becomes “so ordered,” then that means that the judge has made the separation agreement an order, and this is called a judgment of separation. If it is a stipulation of settlement for a divorce, it is a divorce that is signed. A court order is enforceable through the court, to the point that a party who does not fulfill their obligations in accordance with it can be put in jail for contempt of court.
Prior to couples thinking about a legal separation or a divorce, they might consider a tune-up or check-up. A couple can call me and each spend an hour online with me via Zoom, and I will provide the best advice possible. People should remember that there are four things that can be done: a prenuptial, a postnuptial, legal separation, and divorce.
During Mediation, Do You Think It’s Important For Each Party To Understand The Woman’s Outlook On Divorce and Marriage Versus The Man’s Outlook On Divorce And Marriage?
This is something that I could do for people, but it is not why people hire me. When a couple goes to mediation, the goal is to get the divorce done quickly, correctly, fairly, and cheaply. Getting each party to see the other’s perspective falls in the realm of therapy, which should be done prior to hiring me to do the divorce or legal separation.
Parents also need to co-parent, so it’s a great idea for each parent to understand the needs of the other and what is necessary in order to successfully co-parent. Even after divorce is granted, parents of children are effectively married to each forever in the sense that they are emotionally and legally attached at the hip while raising their children. The hope is that parents do a good enough job raising their children, and that they see grandchildren. When it comes to grandchildren, it’s almost always the wife who’s the gatekeeper; if she doesn’t open that gate, then the husband won’t see those children, nor will his parents see their grandchildren. In many cases, the children are used as pawns for some misplaced sense of revenge or punishment.
It is important to understand the dynamics between parents, but this isn’t what happens during my mediation process. My mediation process usually takes three hours, and 80 percent or more of the divorces or legal separations I handle can be successfully settled with a written agreement within those three hours. I know this sounds incredible, but it has been proven hundreds of times. However, therapy is not a part of what I do.
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“individual or as a couple”